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Dealing with Mutual Friends After a Breakup

5 min read
Navigating mutual friends after a breakup

The breakup was hard enough. Now you have to figure out what to do about all the people you both know.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Some friends will choose sides. Some will try to stay neutral. Some will fade away. This is painful but normal.

Guidelines That Help

  • Don't force people to choose. It usually backfires.
  • Be honest about what you need. "I can't hear about them right now."
  • Accept some losses. Some friendships won't survive this.
  • Build your own connections. Don't rely solely on shared friends.

What to Say to Mutual Friends

"I'm not going to ask you to take sides, but I'd appreciate not hearing updates about them for a while."

"I value our friendship and I don't want the breakup to affect it. Can we keep our hangouts separate from my ex for now?"

Group Events

Eventually you'll both be invited somewhere. When you're ready (not before), you can attend the same events. But early on, it's okay to ask "will they be there?" and make decisions based on the answer.

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