Your phone lit up with their name. Your stomach dropped. Now what?
Before You Respond
- • Wait. Don't respond immediately. Give yourself time to think.
- • Consider their motive. Are they lonely? Bored? Actually wanting reconciliation?
- • Check your motive. What do you hope happens if you respond?
- • Assess your state. Are you in a good place to handle this?
Response Options
Option 1: Don't respond. You don't owe them a reply. Silence is an answer.
Option 2: Brief and boundaried. "Thanks for reaching out. I'm not ready for contact right now."
Option 3: Engage carefully. Only if you're genuinely ready and have clear boundaries.
Red Flags
- • They only reach out late at night
- • They're vague about what they want
- • They just broke up with someone else
- • They're not acknowledging what went wrong
Talk It Through
Before responding, it can help to process with someone who isn't emotionally invested. That's what we're here for.
Ready to talk?
Our heartbreak helpline is here for you. Book a call or start chatting now.
Related Articles
Finding Hope Again: Stories of Recovery
When you're in the darkest part of heartbreak, it helps to know others made it through. They did. You will too.
Read more →
Should You Stay Friends with Your Ex?
They want to be friends. You're not sure. Here's how to actually think through this decision.
Read more →
Signs You're Actually Healing
Progress is hard to see when you're in the middle of it. Here's how to know you're moving forward.
Read more →
The First Holiday Season After a Breakup
Holidays are hard enough. Here's how to survive them with a fresh broken heart.
Read more →